Eastern State

Logline:

A disgraced cop blackmailed to go undercover in a reopened prison, only to discover a corrupt corporate experiment—and a supernatural force that erases inmates from existence.

Series Synopsis:

Philadelphia’s crime epidemic has pushed the city to a breaking point. In a controversial move backed by shadowy corporate interests, the infamous Eastern State Penitentiary is reopened under the control of Vanguard Corrections—a for-profit company with a dark agenda. Officially, the prison is meant to house the most dangerous criminals. Unofficially, it is a testing ground for supernatural human experimentation and systemic erasure.

Danny Mercer, a disgraced journalist turned crooked cop, is blackmailed into infiltrating Eastern State as an inmate under the alias Danny Cole. His mission is simple: investigate inmate complaints and document evidence. But once inside, Danny realizes nothing is simple—and nothing is real. Inmates vanish without a trace. The prison distorts memories, warps time, and whispers secrets no one should know.

As Danny's grip on reality begins to fray, he forms a tenuous alliance with the prison chaplain—a man wrestling with his own dark legacy and possibly possessed by the spirit of his serial killer father. Together, they navigate the prison’s hidden hierarchy of tortured spirits, corrupt guards, and psychological warfare. But the deeper Danny digs, the clearer it becomes: Eastern State isn’t just haunted.

It’s alive.

And it’s already rewriting his story.

SCRIPT COVERAGE REPORT

TITLE: EASTERN STATE

EPISODE: 1.01 - "The Walls Are Watching"

TYPE: One-Hour TV Pilot

GENRE: Supernatural Horror / Prison Thriller / Conspiracy

PAGES: 70

DATE: 10/19/2023

LOGLINE

A man goes undercover in a newly reopened, notoriously haunted prison to avenge his family's murder, only to uncover a cosmic horror tied to his own bloodline and a corporate conspiracy to weaponize an ancient entity that erases people from existence.

SYNOPSIS

The episode opens by establishing a bleak, crime-ridden Philadelphia where the private corporation Vanguard Corrections, led by the cold CEO VICTOR LANGLEY, is reopening the infamous Eastern State Penitentiary. We meet DANNY MERCER, a man obsessed with Vanguard, whom he blames for the death of his wife and daughter. A mysterious, distorted voice on the phone offers him a chance for answers, arranging for him to go undercover in the prison under the alias "Danny Cole," serving time for assault.

Upon arrival, Danny is immediately plunged into a surreal nightmare. The prison feels alive, with impossible architecture, unnatural whispers, and a pervasive sense of dread. He quickly learns about "erasures"—inmates who don't just disappear, but are wiped from all records and memory, as if they never existed. His investigation into a name from his past, Hector Ruiz, leads him to the paranoid inmate MARCUS and the enigmatic CHAPLAIN LANGSTON, who hints that the prison "remembers" and "digests" souls.

Danny’s reality unravels further. His attempts to record evidence are supernaturally erased. He discovers strange drawings and finds that his own written memories are fading. Langston reveals his father was a killer who claimed the prison walls taught him a strange, symbolic language—a language Langston now hears in whispers. Danny is guided by the sympathetic DR. KRAUSS, who reveals Vanguard's "Project Revenant": experiments in memory extraction and soul transference. She shows Danny a photo of himself in the prison from 1952 before she is dragged away by guards and "erased" during the next roll call.

Danny is led by his daughter EMMA's ghostly whispers to find the barely-living Hector Ruiz, who confirms they are being "fed to the walls." After a terrifying chase through the prison's shifting corridors, Danny is cornered. He is saved by Emma's ghost, who pulls him through a solid wall into a hidden cavity. There, she reveals she and her mother were also erased.

In a hidden archive, Danny discovers the horrifying truth: files confirm his family was "erased," not murdered, for "Project Revenant." A photo from 2019 shows him, his wife, and Victor Langley working together. Langston, finding him, reveals the full scope of the horror: Danny is a descendant of the prison's first warden and part of a bloodline that is key to an entity called "The Judge," which the prison was built to feed. Danny’s memories are implants; he was a Vanguard researcher who tried to stop the project when they targeted his family.

The climax is a chaotic confrontation in an ancient ritual chamber beneath the prison. Langley shoots Langston and prepares to use Danny as the final "vessel" for The Judge. Danny drinks a vial of black liquid given to him by the dying Langston, triggering a memory flash that reveals the truth: he was a lead scientist who, horrified by Langley’s ambition to use his daughter as a vessel, rebelled. In the present, Danny disrupts the ritual, but this inadvertently allows The Judge to possess Langley instead, unleashing it. As the facility collapses, Danny escapes with the help of a spectral dog, Pep, and the spirit of his daughter, who has now merged with the prison's consciousness.

Danny emerges to a chaotic scene outside as the prison, now fully awake and organic, seals itself off. The final image is a silhouette of Emma in a high window before the prison goes dark, its massive heartbeat thumping from within.

COMMENTS

This is an exceptionally strong pilot with a high-concept premise, relentless pacing, and a compelling, layered mystery. It expertly blends genres—prison thriller, cosmic horror, and corporate conspiracy—to create something that feels both familiar and refreshingly new.

CONCEPT & WORLD-BUILDING:

The concept is the script's greatest strength. A haunted prison is a classic trope, but the script elevates it by making the prison a living, breathing entity—a "processing plant for human suffering." The mythology of "The Judge," the bloodlines (Mercer and Langston), the symbolic language, and the concept of "erasure" are fantastic building blocks for a series. The world-building is dense but delivered organically through Danny's frantic search for answers. The "Next Time On" sequence effectively demonstrates the series' potential, teasing an expanded universe with other haunted locations, a government cover-up, and the ongoing evolution of both Emma and The Judge.

PLOT & STRUCTURE:

The plot is intricate and propulsive. The use of the five-beat structure provides a clear, escalating momentum, with each beat ending on a revelation or cliffhanger that makes it impossible to put down. The central mystery evolves beautifully—what begins as a simple revenge mission spirals into a question of identity, reality, and cosmic survival. The unreliable narrator trope, stemming from Danny's implanted memories, is used to maximum effect, making the audience question everything alongside the protagonist. The final act is a satisfying and explosive culmination of the episode's threads while setting up numerous avenues for the season ahead.

PACING:

The pacing is relentless, which is perfect for a pilot aiming to hook an audience from the first scene. There is a constant forward momentum, driven by danger, mystery, and a ticking clock as Danny's own identity is being erased. The script masterfully balances action sequences (the riot, the escape), quiet moments of horror (the empty cell, the whispers), and crucial exposition dumps that feel earned and revelatory rather than cumbersome.

CHARACTERS:

The characters are well-drawn and serve the story effectively.

Danny Mercer: A fantastic protagonist. His journey is a harrowing descent into the loss of self. Starting as a man driven by a clear (if false) goal, he is systematically stripped of his memories, his family, and his very identity. The twist revealing his past as a brilliant but compromised scientist adds a powerful layer of guilt and tragedy, making his fight for redemption and to save his daughter deeply personal and compelling.

Chaplain Langston: A strong mentor/ally figure. His inherited burden and tragic fate provide the story with a necessary anchor of history and exposition. His connection to the "Hieroglyph Killer" is a great subplot that enriches the lore.

Emma: The emotional core of the story. Her transformation from a lost little girl into a powerful, ambiguous entity merged with the prison is the pilot's most haunting and intriguing element. She is both a damsel to be saved and a terrifying force of nature, a dynamic that promises incredible conflict for the series.

Victor Langley & Warden Monroe: They are effective, hateable villains representing two forms of evil: Langley is the cold, ambitious ideologue, while Monroe is the sadistic, bureaucratic enforcer. Langley's transformation into the vessel for The Judge is a brilliant move, personifying the season's primary antagonist.

DIALOGUE:

The dialogue is sharp, efficient, and purposeful. It conveys a great deal of complex information without slowing the pace. The supernatural dialogue—the whispers, Emma's echoing voice, the layered speech of The Judge—is written evocatively and would be incredibly effective with the right sound design. The verbal confrontations, particularly between Danny and Monroe, are tense and crackle with subtext and dramatic irony.

FINAL RECOMMENDATION

RECOMMEND

This is a polished, professional, and highly marketable pilot. "The Walls Are Watching" is a thrilling and terrifying introduction to a world brimming with potential. It successfully establishes a complex mythology, a compelling protagonist on a deeply personal mission, and a formidable antagonist. The blend of high-concept horror and grounded human emotion is perfectly balanced. It grabs the reader from page one and doesn't let go, ending with a massive, resonant cliffhanger that all but guarantees an audience will come back for more. This feels like a series that is ready to be made.